Who are the five best rappers in the world? Think about it... Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan and Dylan, because I spit hot fire!
-Dylan(played by Dave Chappelle, "Chappelle's Show"
During the 1995 Source Awards, Death Row Records won the award for best soundtrack for "Murder Was The Case". When Suge Knight stepped onstage to accept the award, the following was said:
"Any artist out there that wanna be an artist and wanna stay a star and don't wanna worry about the executive producer being all in the videos, all on the records, dancing, come to Death Row!"
Keep in mind, Suge Knight is a rotten person. The way he ran his recording company and the way he treated people and conducted business was downright terrible, but, to give credit, he has a solid, concrete point. This was a non-too-subtle jab at the executive producer, C.E.O. And founder of Bad Boy Records: P. Diddy.
P. Diddy is what I like to call a "Jackass".
Every single time I hear a song that Biggie did, or a song that he produced or anything he had a hand in putting together, I hear this idiot ad-libbing in the background("Come On", "Yeah", "Uh", That's Right", "Bad Boy Records", "You Know What It Is"), pushing Bad Boy Records, and if you listen to the "Bad Boys II" soundtrack, every song is accompanied with him saying "Bad Boy Collaboration". It wouldn't be a problem if he did it every now and then, but it's NON-STOP. CONSTANT. He will not shut his stupid mouth, and he is all over songs that he Executive Produces. All the Exceutive Producer is supposed to do is listen to a track and deem whether or not it's suitable to be put on the final album. NOT HIM. He will step ALL OVER the song and almost ruin it. There's a reason why he's arrogant and does this. People don't listen to his solo stuff, and if they do, I don't hear anything good about it, so he'll infiltrate something good to make sure you know he's there.
Then "Making The Band" happened.
A dumb, hip hop oriented version of "American Idol", sorta, Diddy cobbled together 6 people to put a group together to be signed to multi-platinum success. This groups name? "Da Band". A man in a medically induced coma could do better.
Now, hold up, lemme talk about the show as briefly as I can, because I watched all three seasons, and boy, is it something.
"Making The Band 2" follows the success of the first season, where O-Town won and went on to do nothing too special. Diddy apparently saw this, liked the concept and decided to set out to do it himself. He set out to multiple cities, auditioned different MC's and singers and picked and chose who he saw was the best for his group.
By the end of the first season, the six people were chosen. Our official band members are:
-Lynese Wiley, A.K.A. Babs
-Dylan(pronounced "Die-Lon") Dilinjah
-Sara Stokes
-Kevin Barnes A.K.A. Chopper "Young City"
-Frederick Watson A.K.A. Freddy P.
-Lloyd Mathis A.K.A. E. Ness
Personality wise, let's give each of them an adjective to describe how they acted on the show.
Babs: "Confrontational"
If you got in her way and she didn't have a particular fondness for you, then you better watch out. She almost went for Ness' throat after she missed an "important" hair appointment.
Dylan: "Mistreated"
Dylan seemed to be the most rational one on the show. He always just seemed to be there, really, not getting much showtime or time in his spotlight. Case in point, in the video for their song "Bad Boy This, Bad Boy That", he's only in it for half a second. That's not exaggeration or hyperbole, it's half a second. Poor guy. Though I'm not too sure why he chooses to rap with reggaeton vocals, he speaks normally, at least I can't detect any accent on him. Interesting choice, nonetheless.
Sara: "Lost"
Caught in the middle of everyone in the band and her controlling husband, Sara seemed like a train waiting to derail at any moment. She always looked like she was ready to fight, but never got to the breaking point.
Chopper: "Arrongant"
Even throughout the auditions, Chopper always came off as a punk. He always set himself as the one who was gonna go off and do things that were bigger and better. Surprise, Surprise, that never happened.
Freddy P.: "Loudmouth"
An extension of Chopper, basically. He always had to make sure his opinion or voice was heard, even if it was something inconsequential.
Ness: "Dictatorial"
Ness saw himself as the supposed leader of the group, which led to him butting heads with everyone at least once during the course of the show.
Dave Chappelle parodied this show on his show "Chappelle's Show"(that's a lotta show's). In the sketch, Chappelle, along with Babs, Chopper, Ness, Freddy P and Sara themselves parodied what they went through on the show, with Chappelle playing both Diddy and Dylan. The sketch has Diddy asking them to walk down to Queens to procure a sugar cookie for him, or uptown to grab Cambodian breast milk(which is similar to when Diddy asked them to walk a few blocks to get cheesecake), constantly fighting and shutting down and opening up the studio(a frequent occurrence on the show), working with Wyclef Jean(who is also on the show and their album), Diddy saving money on his car insurance(parodying the frequent product placement) and having his personal assistant fly down to the floor via umbrella much like how the man flew down via umbrella in the video for Outlkast's classic "The Way You Move"(which, unfortunately, never happened on the actual show).
So how did Da Band do?
One album, no features and one soundtrack appearance, but since that song is on their album, I only have one section to cover today.
Now, hold up, lemme talk about the show as briefly as I can, because I watched all three seasons, and boy, is it something.
"Making The Band 2" follows the success of the first season, where O-Town won and went on to do nothing too special. Diddy apparently saw this, liked the concept and decided to set out to do it himself. He set out to multiple cities, auditioned different MC's and singers and picked and chose who he saw was the best for his group.
By the end of the first season, the six people were chosen. Our official band members are:
-Lynese Wiley, A.K.A. Babs
-Dylan(pronounced "Die-Lon") Dilinjah
-Sara Stokes
-Kevin Barnes A.K.A. Chopper "Young City"
-Frederick Watson A.K.A. Freddy P.
-Lloyd Mathis A.K.A. E. Ness
Personality wise, let's give each of them an adjective to describe how they acted on the show.
Babs: "Confrontational"
If you got in her way and she didn't have a particular fondness for you, then you better watch out. She almost went for Ness' throat after she missed an "important" hair appointment.
Dylan: "Mistreated"
Dylan seemed to be the most rational one on the show. He always just seemed to be there, really, not getting much showtime or time in his spotlight. Case in point, in the video for their song "Bad Boy This, Bad Boy That", he's only in it for half a second. That's not exaggeration or hyperbole, it's half a second. Poor guy. Though I'm not too sure why he chooses to rap with reggaeton vocals, he speaks normally, at least I can't detect any accent on him. Interesting choice, nonetheless.
Sara: "Lost"
Caught in the middle of everyone in the band and her controlling husband, Sara seemed like a train waiting to derail at any moment. She always looked like she was ready to fight, but never got to the breaking point.
Chopper: "Arrongant"
Even throughout the auditions, Chopper always came off as a punk. He always set himself as the one who was gonna go off and do things that were bigger and better. Surprise, Surprise, that never happened.
Freddy P.: "Loudmouth"
An extension of Chopper, basically. He always had to make sure his opinion or voice was heard, even if it was something inconsequential.
Ness: "Dictatorial"
Ness saw himself as the supposed leader of the group, which led to him butting heads with everyone at least once during the course of the show.
Dave Chappelle parodied this show on his show "Chappelle's Show"(that's a lotta show's). In the sketch, Chappelle, along with Babs, Chopper, Ness, Freddy P and Sara themselves parodied what they went through on the show, with Chappelle playing both Diddy and Dylan. The sketch has Diddy asking them to walk down to Queens to procure a sugar cookie for him, or uptown to grab Cambodian breast milk(which is similar to when Diddy asked them to walk a few blocks to get cheesecake), constantly fighting and shutting down and opening up the studio(a frequent occurrence on the show), working with Wyclef Jean(who is also on the show and their album), Diddy saving money on his car insurance(parodying the frequent product placement) and having his personal assistant fly down to the floor via umbrella much like how the man flew down via umbrella in the video for Outlkast's classic "The Way You Move"(which, unfortunately, never happened on the actual show).
So how did Da Band do?
One album, no features and one soundtrack appearance, but since that song is on their album, I only have one section to cover today.
Without further ado:
"Too Hot For TV"(2003)
Shoutout to MTV
-"We Here(Intro)"
Any album that literally starts out with giving special thanks to MTV is already off to a bad start.
Lookin' both ways when I conceal my weapon
-"Living Legends" Spoken by Dylan
Cause as we all know, to be a legend, you pack that heat, and silence whomever you want...right?
I done smoked a lotta blunts, drunk a couple of beers
-"Living Legends" Spoken by Babs
You and everyone else, sweetheart. Ah, damn, I forgot. There's six people here. I need to clarify who's saying what. Thanks, inner monologue! Where would I be without ya?(I'm aware that you're seeing who said what by this point, but it was at this moment that I knew, I couldn't keep you in the dark).
Imma ride that thing like a motorbike
-"Tonight" Spoken by Babs
Just please don't pop a wheelie. For the love of God. You don't want him making this face:
I'll have ya in the kitchen, put up on the dressa, throw you in the closet, then undress ya/treat ya like a one night stand, give you the pressure, make you hit high notes like R&B singers.
-"Tonight" Spoken by Dylan
First off, the first half of this: if you're gonna have this lady in the kitchen and the dresser, then why wouldn't you undress her first? Are you into super safe sex or something? Also, having sexy times in the closet sounds cramped and complicated. Now the second half: girls don't really wanna hear that you're gonna treat them like a one night stand.
You tried to play me cause yo' ass is phat
-"How You Like Me Now?" Spoken by Ness
This lyric is so dumb and stupid that I was sitting trying to figure out a witty or clever response to this for almost five minutes and came up with nothing. It literally left me speechless.
With a gun up in my waist, I'm losin' patience
-"How You Like Me Now?" Spoken by Mysetrious
Who's Mysterious? She was a contestant on the show that actually got pretty far along in the trial period, but eventually was sent home. Unfortunately for her, she's currently in prison for... well, it's uncomfortable to put in writing for me. If you're interested, look it up, but if you're sensitive, I'll just leave it at that.
But regardless, I don't understand why seeing someone you're interested in is making you lose your patience. Then again, considering what she did to land in prison, it's not a shock.
In your birthday suit like a go-go dancer
-"What We Gonna Do" Spoken by Ness
Go-Go dancers have outfits they wear. They are not dancing naked and if they are, sorry, that's called a stripper.
Don't question me on how I know these things... it's research.
And n****'s be starin' us down like we got money to burn
-"Why" Spoken by Babs
Doubt it, especially since no one remembers who you guys are anymore.
By the way, this was their only soundtrack appearance, that being for "Bad Boys II". Congrats, you're... on there.
Keep your goddamn hands off ya panties
-"Stick Up" Spoken by Ness
Not exactly sure who you're speaking to, it's not made clear on the track itself. If it's me, then that's easy, I don't recall owning any pairs.
Call 9-1-Index
-"Chopped Up" Spoken by Chopper
Good one. Call 91 Index finger in case of any emergency. Your analogy game is very weak, sir.
Tits don't sag, I don't need a push-up bra
-"Bad Boy This, Bad Boy That" Spoken by Babs
What? What's wrong with someone wearing that? Why make a big deal about it? What's wrong with you?
I'll put somethin' in yo biceps
-"Bad Boy This, Bad Boy That" Spoken by Ness
There's no medical treatment that can make you add something to your biceps. Believe me, after hearing this lyric, I did a google search and no treatments. Plenty of working out will do the trick, though.
Now that's gangsta, don't make me spank ya
-"Bad Boy This, Bad Boy That" Spoken by Chopper
I'm fifty shades of something that isn't that, sir.
The sun'll come out tomorrow, even though we still slingin' in the ghetto
-"Do You Know"(featuring Wyclef Jean) Spoken by Wyclef Jean
That's the worse use of that Annie lyric I've ever heard. It doesn't even rhyme.
If I'm not with you, I'm thuggin'
-"Go Steady" Spoken by Ness
How romantic. At least he's working, I suppose...
Bad Boy, newest generation, don't get it twisted!
-"Holla(Outro)" Spoken by Babs
Right, who are you again?
So, that's Da Band, did you have a good time? I sure didn't. But let's breifly discuss where they are now.
Chopper, Babs, Freddy and Ness are all making their own independent music. Good for them, at least they're keeping with their passions.
Dylan is still making appearances and doing music, mostly due to his being parodied on "Chappelle's Show".
Sara is coming back to terms with her life. Having two altercations with her husband and a three month stint in jail for probation violation, she's coming back to herself, slowly but surely.
One last thing; if you'd like to read my short album review for "Too Hot For TV", you can check that out right here: Click This
-"Chopped Up" Spoken by Chopper
Good one. Call 91 Index finger in case of any emergency. Your analogy game is very weak, sir.
Tits don't sag, I don't need a push-up bra
-"Bad Boy This, Bad Boy That" Spoken by Babs
What? What's wrong with someone wearing that? Why make a big deal about it? What's wrong with you?
I'll put somethin' in yo biceps
-"Bad Boy This, Bad Boy That" Spoken by Ness
There's no medical treatment that can make you add something to your biceps. Believe me, after hearing this lyric, I did a google search and no treatments. Plenty of working out will do the trick, though.
Now that's gangsta, don't make me spank ya
-"Bad Boy This, Bad Boy That" Spoken by Chopper
I'm fifty shades of something that isn't that, sir.
The sun'll come out tomorrow, even though we still slingin' in the ghetto
-"Do You Know"(featuring Wyclef Jean) Spoken by Wyclef Jean
That's the worse use of that Annie lyric I've ever heard. It doesn't even rhyme.
If I'm not with you, I'm thuggin'
-"Go Steady" Spoken by Ness
How romantic. At least he's working, I suppose...
Bad Boy, newest generation, don't get it twisted!
-"Holla(Outro)" Spoken by Babs
Right, who are you again?
So, that's Da Band, did you have a good time? I sure didn't. But let's breifly discuss where they are now.
Chopper, Babs, Freddy and Ness are all making their own independent music. Good for them, at least they're keeping with their passions.
Dylan is still making appearances and doing music, mostly due to his being parodied on "Chappelle's Show".
Sara is coming back to terms with her life. Having two altercations with her husband and a three month stint in jail for probation violation, she's coming back to herself, slowly but surely.
One last thing; if you'd like to read my short album review for "Too Hot For TV", you can check that out right here: Click This
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